Vulnerability + “Starbucks Napkins and Chipotle Napkins”
Starbucks Napkins and Chipotle Napkins.
Sitting here, I am thinking of napkins. Starbucks and Chipotle napkins, specifically. SOOOOOOO many times, my car has become a sanctuary. So many times, a drive become a prayer meeting. So many times, Jesus has met me in those quiet confines and “heard my cries.” So many times, my car on the roadside has become a secret place, a meeting place, and most often, I am unprepared except for the few napkins in the glove box. It has most often been Starbucks napkins and Chipotle napkins that have dried my tears, and have, in turn earned a special place in my heart.
Tears are tangible, liquid evidence of pain or joy. They convey the sorrow and joy we carry from the inner places of our soul to the outside. They are couriers? Conveyers. Carriers. When tears are cried in prayer, they deliver the deepest places of our souls directly to the One who created us and cares like no one else. Tears are evidence, at times, of a deep breaking going on far below the surface. Just as there was a breaking of the earth when the “fountains of the deep” were opened up in Noah’s day, and water was released, so it is that brokenness in our own hearts often produces tears.
Tears are precious to God. He bottles them. Collects them. Maybe they will be in Heaven as reminders that we once knew sadness and grief; sorrow and suffering? Maybe they will be trophies from the things we endured to make it there? Who knows, but we do know that God treasures them. No tear falls in vain. He catches and saves each one. He bottles the proof of my broken heart.
For now, I will keep crying. I will continue to allow Him to invade my car and let His presence wash over me in waves. I will allow Him to show up on drives here and catch me off guard on drives there. I will reach out to Him in that quiet, secluded place that has often been a refuge, and I will most certainly have to reach for the glovebox because I will need Starbucks napkins and Chipotle napkins.
Have thine own way, Lord. Have thine own way.
Recommended Listening: Ugly Prayers
http://clcwi.com/media?sapurl=Lytja2RqL2xiL21zLys0MjQ3c2o5P2JyYW5kaW5nPXRydWUmZW1iZWQ9dHJ1ZQ==